Two years ago, I had the distinct pleasure of getting a couple divorced. Yes—I used the words “pleasure” and “divorce” in the same sentence. I say this because these two parents happened to have the most amicable divorce I have seen in my decade plus of practicing family law. They both had lawyers, but they were able to sit down together and resolve most of their issues without us. Sure, they asked lots of questions about their rights and the lawyers drafted the agreement, but the parents did a lot of the hard work. The parents also lived their lives in a way that prioritized their children over their own needs. Even while negotiating the terms of their divorce, if the children had an event at their school, the parents sat together. On their child’s birthday, they go out to dinner together. They never spoken poorly about the other parent to or around the children.
The actual divorce hearing was relaxed and positive, despite the reason for being there. Their witness injected his own brand of humor. He was friends with both of them, and had the uncomfortable job of testifying that the parties longer having marital relations. After the hearing, the newly divorced couple walked outside and took a “divorce selfie”. The phrase #divorceselfie was a trending topic in the news a year or so ago, as couples who were divorcing were posting photos of them at the Courthouse after their hearing with smiles on their faces. It was a way of celebrating an amicable, respectful divorce.
One of the parties in the case blogged about her experience. You can read her entry here. With permission from all involved (my client, the writer and her lawyer), I wanted to share this as proof that even though this couple (in her words) may have “failed at marriage” they were able to “rock divorce!”