No matter your circumstances, divorce can be scary. Maybe you are ready to leave your marriage, and you are scared to tell your spouse. Maybe your spouse has just told you they don’t want to be married anymore. Maybe you both have been cohabitating awkwardly, and both of you are too scared to acknowledge the elephant in the room. Whether you are wanting to leave, or being left, or even if the decision to separate is amicable and mutual, there are many unknowns that can make the process feel scary. This blog is intended to help you focus on the big picture and give you some tips and pointers on how to prepare for divorce.
1. Address “The Big Three”
Generally speaking, the “big three” things that need to be addressed as part of any divorce are asset division, custody, and financial support. You don’t need to know all the answers, but if you can start categorizing your concerns, they will generally fall under one of these three categories. Start thinking about what your goals are for each one.
2. Have Access to Money
If you and your spouse have all joint accounts, now is the time to establish your own account. If you cannot establish your own checking or savings account, get a credit card. You are going to want to be able to be in control of your own finances and have access to money to pay for necessities.
3. Consider What Will Happen to Your Home
If you own a home, start thinking about what is going to happen to it in the divorce. Do you want to keep it? If so, can you qualify for a refinance of the mortgage with just your income? If you can figure that out now, you’ll know what your options are further down the line.
4. Figure Out Your Monthly Budget
Going from a two-income household to one will be challenging, no matter what your income is. Start figuring out what your monthly budget is, and if your income can support it. This information will be helpful in figuring out your next step, but it will also be required if the divorce ends up being litigated.
5. Seek Support
Lean on your support system and seek out professional help if you are feeling depressed or overwhelmed. Even in the most amicable of separations, it is likely that you will experience a wave of emotions. Some days will be harder than others. Many clients describe going through the stages of grief during their divorce. An attorney is going to help you sort of the legal piece of your divorce, but it takes a village, and this will be the time to reach out to friends and find someone to talk to who can help you transition through the emotional part of the divorce and separation.