As the school year begins, parents are starting to get back into a routine with their child. School can be both exciting and stressful for children, and they benefit most when both parents act as a strong support system.
For co-parents, this means navigating custody schedules while keeping the child’s best interests front and center. At Wasserman White Family Law, we believe in helping our clients come to resolutions that allow children to feel secure and supported.
Here are our top ten back-to-school tips for co-parents:
1. Focus on the child and their needs
As a new school year begins, it is imperative for co-parents to set aside their differences and come together to support their child.
Scenario: Even if you and your ex disagree about bedtimes or screen time, agree on shared expectations for school routines like homework and sleep. Consistency helps your child stay focused and reduces anxiety.
2. Be friendly to one another at school and sports events
If your child’s school has in-person events that both you and your ex attend, remember to be cordial. A simple greeting and moving on can set a powerful example of maturity for your child.
Being considerate also means coordinating extracurricular activities together.
Scenario: One parent signs a child up for softball in a league 40 minutes from the other parent’s home, with practices on the other parent’s custody nights. This not only creates conflict but also disrupts the child’s schedule. Always consult each other before enrolling your child in new activities.
3. Encourage your child to communicate with the other parent
If it is your night with your child, encourage them to touch base with the other parent. A quick call, text, or FaceTime reassures your child that they are supported by both parents.
Scenario: A nightly “goodnight call” to the other parent can become a simple ritual that reinforces your child’s sense of stability.
4. Notify the school to copy both parents on all communications
Let the school (administrators, teachers, and counselors) know that both parents should receive report cards, notices, and updates.
Scenario: If only one parent gets an email about picture day or early dismissal, the child may feel unprepared or stressed. By making sure both parents are copied, you avoid unnecessary miscommunications.
5. Provide schools with the proper custody documents
Schools often require copies of custody orders, separation agreements, or protective orders to understand who has legal decision-making authority. Update emergency contacts and proof of residency if needed.
What type of documents does the school usually require?
Court Orders & Custody Agreements
- Custody Order / Parenting Plan – outlines who has legal and physical custody, visitation schedules, and decision-making rights.
- Temporary Custody Orders – if the divorce is still pending.
- Restraining Orders / Protective Orders – if relevant, especially if one parent is restricted from contact.
Separation Agreement (if it includes custody or educational provisions)
Emergency Contact Information
- Updated forms listing both parents (if allowed) and any restrictions on pick-up or communication.
Identification Documents, including parent IDs (to confirm pick-up permissions).
Educational Records Release
- Schools often require a signed release or clear direction in the custody order so both parents can access grades, attendance, and disciplinary records.
Medical/Health Information
- Updated health forms showing which parent is responsible for medical decisions or insurance coverage.
6. Set up a shared calendar for important dates
A shared calendar avoids missed events and scheduling conflicts. Apps like Google Calendar, Our Family Wizard, or AppClose work well, but the key is that both parents update and check it regularly.
Scenario: When one parent schedules a doctor’s appointment on a testing day without checking the calendar, the child misses an exam. A shared calendar prevents these conflicts and ensures smoother communication.
7. Decide on a homework protocol
Children thrive on consistency. Work with your co-parent to agree on how homework will be handled in each home.
Scenario: If your child starts homework right after school at one parent’s home but leaves it until 9 p.m. at the other, assignments may be rushed or incomplete. Establishing a similar routine in both households prevents last-minute stress.
8. Keep supplies stocked in both homes
Your child should not have to pack a backpack full of pencils, binders, or sports equipment every time they switch homes.
Scenario: Having an extra set of cleats, shin guards, and school supplies at both homes reduces frantic trips across town before practices or assignments.
9. Use a transfer folder for important items
A designated folder—either physical or digital—keeps permission slips, progress reports, and parent-only notes organized and prevents children from feeling responsible for adult communication.
Scenario: A child proudly picks out a bright folder with their favorite character. Parents know to check the folder during exchanges, ensuring that signed forms, graded papers, or teacher notes are always in the right place.
10. Keep custody and support issues away from your child
Disagreements between parents are inevitable, but children should not bear the weight of adult problems.
Scenario: If a dispute arises about child support or scheduling, handle the conversation privately. Your child is already managing math homework, music practice, and peer friendships—adding parental conflict only increases stress.
Can’t come to an agreement?
If you and your ex have a difficult time coming to agreements, we encourage you to contact us for help. Our team can advise you on the best solutions for your family’s unique needs.